Let it go

As I was talking to a friend this morning about an amazing opportunity that was presented to her son, I found myself feeling hot and jealous inside.  It is one of those once-in-a-lifetime things that I would love to have happen to one of my children.

I'll be honest - It is so hard to let go of it and just be happy for them.  I find myself sulking and feeling sorry for myself, or my kids, that something like that doesn't happen to me or them.  I often get depressed or throw myself a pity-party when I see other moms living a life I would like to live - being able to stay home with their children, go on Disney vacations twice a year, or have beautiful golf course homes.  Then I remember that it is God who has a plan for me and I can usually get out of my mini-depression and move on with the day.

But it is much harder when it comes to my kids.  Why?  I know that the same God who has a plan for me also has a plan for them.  But, as a mom, I want to control everything I can for them.  I mean, I am the one who is here with them on Earth to teach them His word, help them do their best in school and sports, and learn to help others and spread love and peace.  So why can't I let this go and let them live out God's plan for them, not mine?  Sure, I want what's best for them but at what cost?  I cannot go through the day envious that this didn't happen to my child.  It will make me physically sick.  All I can do is teach them to be better and never stop believing in themselves.

After writing these words, I do have a peacefulness in my heart and I'm truly happy for my friend's son.  I am not jealous that this didn't happen to one of my kids.  I know that God has a plan for my children and it is my job to raise them in His word and He will direct their paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Count your blessings!

Why do I need all this junk?

I was giving a graduation exam today and started thinking.  I know, dangerous.  But what else am I going to do since I can't write, draw or read anything while I administer that exam?  So, I was thinking about all the stuff we accumulate over time and I began to question why we do that.  Looking at those high school seniors take that exam and thinking about their futures, I began to reflect on my past.  In college, we lived in a dorm.  Dorms are tiny.  We didn't take every last thing from home and stuff it in that little dorm room.  We had clothes, shoes, maybe a computer, books, school supplies, Ramen noodles, and a microfridge.  And that was enough.  I didn't long for the stuff I had left back home, not that it was much. 

Then, I got married.  We moved into a small apartment because that's all we could afford at the time, since we were both still in college.  I think that's when the accumulation of junk began.  I was given bridal showers where I collected dishes, pots and pans, home decor, etc.  Then, the family started and we added children, which added more stuff!

I've been fortunate to travel to a few other countries - Mexico, Costa Rica, Spain and France.  One thing I've noticed in all of them is that the people are not as attached to things as we are in the U.S.  The houses are smaller, if they are lucky enough to have a house.  Most live in small apartments or shacks made of any material they can find to provide shelter from the elements.  They don't fill their walls with decorator items or even hundreds of family photos.  One reason is they simply can't afford it.  Their money must be used for food and necessities.  Does that mean family isn't important because they don't have dozens of scrapbooks filled with cropped photos and hundreds of dollars of specialty papers and stickers?  No.  I have witnessed more families sitting outside together, playing together, eating together, working together.  I believe their idea of family is much stronger than ours because they don't have all the stuff.  No televisions, or maybe just one in the house instead of every room.  No gaming systems.  No chest full of toys.  Bare minimum.

I started in January to "clear the clutter" in my house and in my life but quickly dropped off the bandwagon because life activities got in the way.  I long to live simply, without so many physical possessions.  After my thinking episode today, I think I'm ready to jump back on.  I've got too much stuff and someone else might just need the junk I don't have time for.   It's time to clear it out and focus more on people than the things.  Plus, it should make my house easier to clean!

Be blessed!

Rejuvenated

In my Senior year memory book, under "What I want to be 10 years from now", I have "author".  Well, I achieved that in 2007 when I self published a children's book I had written and illustrated.  Recently, I have been rejuvenated and re-energized.  It seems a lot of things lately are pointing to my dream of writing - little tidbits of advice or inspiration, writing contests randomly showing up in my inbox, favors being asked of me at church, and constant prayer.  I am more excited now about writing than I think I ever have been. 

God has a way of showing us things in mysterious ways.  But sometimes, I think it's not really that mysterious; we just aren't in the right mindset to see it.  I'm seeing it now!  And I'm excited about what He is going to put in my path to realize my dream.

God is good!

Be blessed!

I've missed this.

Well, it has definitely been a while since I last blogged and lots of things have changed.  God is still working on His plan for me - some things moving quickly, some taking a bit longer.  I have really been thinking about my writing a lot more often and it wasn't until a conversation with a neighbor yesterday that I realized this is really what I want to do.  God has given me so many talents - writing, communicating, knowledge of another language, drawing, painting, sewing, creating, teaching - and the best way to utilize all those at once is by writing books/stories/blogs.  I am going to deep clean today and look for my notebooks that contain all my sketches, short stories, essays, poems, and start putting it all together.  I think by Christmas I can have a good, solid collection.  Until my job gets in the way.

I just can't help but believe that it is God's will for me to be a writer.  I've wanted to be one since high school.  But, it is going to take lots of prayer, lots of willpower (to write instead of goof off on computer games or Facebook), lots of help from my children, and lots of support from my friends and family. 

So, having caught you up on where God is leading me, I hope you find where He is leading you.  I'll leave you with my favorite Bible verse today, and I may have used it before to close a post, but it's my favorite!

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future."  Jeremiah 29:11

Be blessed!

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