Do what you love,
Be who you are,
Sing what you like,
Shine like a star.
I painted this original poem on a canvas years ago for my daughter. I wanted it to hang in her room as a daily reminder that she can follow her dreams and still be successful and happy. She doesn't really need this reminder as much as I do.
I am just in a dark place right now. I'm stressed about finances, already worried about the future, and not really living for today. The sermon at church this morning was good for me. It was from the book of Habakkuk and how God asks us to write down our vision and then wait. I thought about that. As a teacher, I am constantly telling my students to write down their goals and dreams and do something every day that helps them get one step closer. God tells us to do that, too, but he also tells us to wait...that He will choose the time to fulfill the vision. That's the hard part.
I'm trying. I really am. But it's hard when I don't know how I am going to pay all my bills this month, and on top of that it's the holiday season and I don't know how I'm going to get gifts for my kids. I'm so embarrassed at my situation that I just sink into a hole within myself and it's very hard to climb out and move on. I dwell on the past instead of living in the present. But when my present reality is so dim, it's hard. I know things could be worse, and for that I am grateful, but I am just not where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I am way off course.
I am aware that my children know that I'm not myself. I've been praying for weeks, months, really, that God will put the right people in my path that can help me with my struggles. I will continue that prayer for as long as it takes. I am also trying to focus on what I love - family, writing, painting, creating. I can escape temporarily when I am in my art, doing what I love. I have my goals and visions on the dream board and now I just have to wait patiently for God's timing.
Until then, I will do what I love, be who I am, sing what I like, and SHINE!
