So frustrated.

Oh, I am so frustrated right now.  First of all, it doesn't help that I can feel a sinus infection or some other winter illness coming on.  In my line of work - teaching - I can't afford to be sick because I can't get a good sub.  I teach Spanish and there are very few subs who offer any kind of benefit in that department.  So, I usually just go to school sick, until a doctor tells me to stay home (which happens if I run myself hard enough).  Add to this mixture a faculty meeting where we are once again taught some new and great technology tool to incorporate in our classes, or better yet, to use when we have to call a sub so that the students have meaningful assignments to do while we are gone.  OK.  I get it.  You want me to work all the time because I sure as heck can't grade papers, plan lessons, make copies, contact parents, AND record podcasts or video lessons to upload to my website during my 55 minute planning period. 

I'm not saying technology is a bad thing.  I like my computer, the Internet, my blog, shopping in my pajamas.  But, seriously?  When is it going to be enough.  Kids don't want to pay attention as it is.  They want to be entertained and play games.  Well, I have a family of my own and I can't work an additional 2 hours every day once I get home to work on podcasts or researching a good app for the students to use.  I am a traditional arts and crafts, paper and pencil, let the kids do the work kind of teacher.  So, I was frustrated anyway when I came home today.

Then, I get an email from one of my child's teachers explaining some grades she had given in the past 2 days.  One of those was for an assessment that determines what grade level the child reads on.  At this point, the children should be on a 7.4 - 7th grade, 4th month.  This is simply a tool for the teacher to use to help the child get on grade level.  She gave this as a grade!  Why am I so upset?  Because my child struggles and reads on a 5.5 grade level.  That's 5th grade level.  He made a C on this assignment because he does not read on grade level.  Shouldn't she be helping him get on grade level instead of punishing him for being a poor reader?  Oh, and for children who are above a 7th grade level, they were awarded bonus points.  Yeah.  I'm mad.  The school (and I teach in the same system so this could be detrimental to my child) will be hearing from me about this after I calm down.  Not only is this not fair, but it is setting children up for failure.  My child feels horrible that he is not on grade level with his peers, although he tries.  Giving him a grade for this hurts his self esteem, and middle school is definitely a place where we need to be building that up.  Oh, I have so many opinions about this that I just needed to vent so I can compose my email to the school.

I really want to do something, not just for my son but for others like him.  It also makes me question my own teaching practices.  Do I honestly do everything I can for students or do I do things that are unfair?  I don't know but I will find some time somewhere to ponder that and change if I need to.  Honestly, I think I am at a point where I no longer want to be in education.  The health insurance is great and the retirement isn't bad but I'm thinking I can find something comparable, especially with my skills. 

I will work on my book tonight since the contest deadline is Tuesday.  Maybe that's my ticket out.  No matter, I will give everything over to the Lord tonight and I'll listen to what he has to say to me.  He'll guide me in the way I need to go with this.

Thanks for reading (listening) and Be blessed!